


Five Ways That It’s You

by puckity



Category: Big Bang (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M, Genderbending, M/M, Young to Old, five times fic, multiple AUs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-11
Updated: 2009-09-11
Packaged: 2018-02-07 18:57:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1910034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/puckity/pseuds/puckity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>TOP and Daesung are fate and destiny. They’re meant to be; then, now, soon, again and always.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five Ways That It’s You

**Author's Note:**

> Written in 2009 as a birthday present for LJ user requiem_mass. Vaguely inspired by the Super Junior song "너라고 (It's You)".
> 
> The numbered quotes are from different ToDae-ish moments that happened to have been filmed and then subbed. Linked for convenience. This does touch on Daesung’s 2009 car accident.
> 
> Self-beta'd.
> 
> You can also follow me on [Tumblr](http://puckity.tumblr.com/).

**1.** [_I want to buy him things._](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AL0PuVeHOcY)

“Give it to me.” The biggest boy of the three, or rather the widest, holds his chubby hand out.

Daesung looks at it scornfully, though it’s difficult to tell because his eyes are small and his tears are big. The boy to his left tries to push him over but the effort is awkward and nervous. He stumbles into the boy on his right and gets a harder push in return. The alley ground is moist and gravelly and it stings him through his secondhand shorts.

The fat boy still looms over him, and his oversized blue t-shirt is all Daesung can see. He thinks that out of this boy’s back skyscrapers grow and claw at the sky.

“Give me the money.” Daesung shakes his head no and someone kicks him. The coins jingle guiltily in his pocket. The fat boy didn’t give the order—he’s not looking at the other boys—but he doesn’t stop it either.

“Seunghyun…” When one of the boys talks he sounds scared and young and Daesung wonders if maybe they’re all elementary students too. “Come on, let’s just get out of here. This little shit’s not worth it.”

The fat boy, Seunghyun, he doesn’t care. He watches Daesung like it’s up to him and Daesung hates himself but he looks away.

“Stupid kid, just give us the money!” Another kick, panicked, and Daesung curls up because he knows there’ll be more.

“You’re gonna get us all caught by the fuckin’ cops!” The other boy joins in and Daesung squeezes his arms around his chest and is happy they aren’t aiming for his head. Through his small eyes and big tears he can see Seunghyun’s brand new sneakers. Nike. Imports. Expensive. More than a lifetime of bullying kids out of their dinner money could pay for. He opens his mouth and the kicking stops.

“What?” Seunghyun doesn’t bend down to hear him better.

“Fine.” Daesung coughs a few times and expects blood but there isn’t any. Not yet, at least.

He rummages for the coins and a few crumpled bills and wants to throw them contemptuously at the fat boy’s feet but he doesn’t. That outstretched hand hasn’t moved.

As soon as he has it, Seunghyun shoves the pitiful plunder into his own pocket and without any communication the two boys move to his side to leave. The others are already almost around the corner when Seunghyun stops and come back. Daesung must have expected this, because he didn’t get up.

They clatter all around him and a few coins roll away. The bills start to dance in the breeze and Daesung grabs them quickly.

Seunghyun is staring at him blankly and Daesung can’t help himself. “Why?”

The fat boy doesn’t shrug. “Because I could.” Then he leans down and says, right against Daesung’s face, “Next time, just give it to me sooner.” And Daesung hates himself because he looks away again.

He counts the coins first and hears someone almost around the corner ask, “What’d you tell him?” He doesn’t hear an answer but Daesung think this time Seunghyun might have shrugged. Then he counts the bills and there are five more than he had before and then he knows Seunghyun did.

 

 **2.** [_Why are you so cute and shiny?_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pl-ZhrEbpTg)

Seunghyun doesn’t like it. A scattering of empty chairs and plenty of other people to share a seat with and standing room to boot but she sits by him. He doesn’t like it.

He doesn’t like that she is bouncing along to a busted-up tape player. The way her cheap phone is weighed down by Doraemon charms that keep jumping against his leg. Her unevenly cropped hair and faded uniform. How she is obviously a middle schooler.

He doesn’t like that, sitting next to her he feels even bigger, like he’s expanding and will soon push her right off the bus seat.

He doesn’t like that he can’t concentrate on his own rhythms and beats because he can’t stop not liking her.

He doesn’t like that a middle-aged woman gives him a dirty look when she catches him. His eyes drop to the mesh trim on his backpack and he turns his music up.

It’s no use. The beat of the music is fast and pulsing but the beat of Doraemon is slow and haphazard and he looks up in frustration and there she is. Even a middle schooler should know how to react when strange people stare at them on a Seoul bus—look away purposely and ignore it or scowl and change seats—but she smiles wide and warm and Seunghyun’s not sure what she is anymore. She’s talking, for one, but music is still pounding in his ears.

“—visiting my cousin here but actually I’m from Seoul even though my family moved down to Gwangju when I was in fifth grade and I’m going to a winter camp up here but I’m still wearing my Gwangju uniform so some of the kids make fun of me but it’s not that bad really hey you’re a high schooler right?” She pauses and looks at him like he should have something to say.

“Yeah,” his voice is soft and raspy so he coughs. “I’m a first grader in high school.” He glances down at his own uniform by way of explanation. She looks reverently impressed.

“Wow, is it really difficult? I’m nervous, even though I’m still a second year and I study hard but I think high school must be a lot different.”

He shrugs awkwardly, half-turned in his seat, and isn’t sure what else he should say. So she says something for him.

“Choi Seunghyun.” It’s not a question and his eyes go a little panicky. She laughs like chopsticks on porcelain and points at his chest.

“Your nametag.” She thrusts her own chest towards him and even though there’s nothing much to look at he still blushes.

“Kang Daesung.” Again she speaks for him. Her tone is apologetic as she leans back against her seat, “It’s not very girly, I know.” Seunghyun agrees in his mind but then he’s distracted because she’s rummaging around in the pink backpack that hides her knees poking out of her skirt from him.

She produces a bag of corn chips and offers them to him earnestly. “Hungry?” And he is.

They pass the bag back and forth and he finally speaks for himself.

“Completion, to make complete.” She chews with her mouth slightly open and stares at him. “That’s what Daesung means.”

She laughs and he laughs and the middle-aged woman is glaring again but this time it’s okay.

 

 **3.** [_You little rascal—you would do this to hyung?_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3ZU-6bWCLk)

They haven’t said anything since it happened. Seunghyun only came to visit him once before, when everyone came, but Daesung honestly can’t remember him being there. Then again, he was in a car accident and that’s not the best thing in the world for brain functions.

Seunghyun came alone this time and visiting hours were almost over so Daesung must have looked pretty pathetic to have the nurse let him stay.

Daesung wants to say something; actually he wants Seunghyun to say something. He wants him to say how the hostel feels empty without his laughter and how the couch is much less comfortable without him as a pillow. He wants him to say he’d better get well again quick because Jiyong’s too busy with his album promotions to cook and Seungri’s too busy milking Daesung’s fame in his absence to cook and he really doesn’t like the way Taeyang makes ramen. Daesung knows he takes out half the flavoring for their diets.

Seunghyun walks towards the bed and pulls out a contraband convenience store latte from his jacket pocket that Daesung isn’t supposed to drink because the doctors don’t think excessive sugar is good for his system right now. He knows that Seunghyun knows that he’s been dying without it. Seunghyun stabs the plastic straw into the lid and holds it right at mouth level so he doesn’t have to sit up and Daesung thinks it’s probably going to be a little warm from being so close to Seunghyun’s body heat. He sips it tentatively and is right.

Seunghyun watches him sip and swallow and the silence seeps down over him like performance anxiety. He drinks too fast and Seunghyun pulls the straw back to let him sputter.

Daesung wants him to say that he was worried. That he can’t sleep well now because the fear and what ifs grow like a tumor knotting up his intestines. He wants him to say that he couldn’t read any of the newspaper articles because his mind kept exaggerating the details. Daesung knows his mind does that.

The straw makes an obnoxious empty sucking sound and Seunghyun crumbles the cup and tosses it in the metal wastebasket. Daesung’s not cold but he shivers anyway and Seunghyun closes the window even though it’s a sticky August this year.

Daesung wants him to say that he’s angry. That he sent some very strongly worded e-mails to SBS and Yoo Jaesuk. He wants him to say that he won’t allow Daesung to film _Family_ anymore if they can’t even properly take care of their stars. Not that Seunghyun has any control over what he does or doesn’t do but Daesung likes to think that he thinks he does.

Seunghyun sits in the hard visitor chair built to try and defer bedside sleepers. He sits and blinks and looks so tired and Daesung wonders if he has nothing to say after all.

The nurse knocks and peers in discreetly and Daesung likes her because if she’s a fan she never shows it. She treats him like any other (un)lucky kid and his visitors like any other anxious family. She won’t bend the rules for them and Daesung knows that when she finds the empty coffee cup in the trash she’s going to give him a stern talking to.

“Sorry sir,” but she is only as sorry as her job requires. “Visiting hours are finished for today. The patients need their rest.”

Seunghyun nods and gets up and Daesung decides that if he really has nothing to say then at least one of them will have said something.

“Hyung, I’m sorry.” His voice is low and broken and out-of-practice.

Seunghyun pauses and shrugs. “I know.”

Then he steps over to the bed and the nurse clears her throat authoritatively but no one acknowledges it. Seunghyun kisses the bandages on his arm then the ones around his ribcage and then he hovers over Daesung’s face but is careful to kiss the bridge of his nose and the corner of his eye like a hand floating across dry grass without breaking a blade.

Seunghyun’s lips glide to his mouth and hover and Daesung’s can feel the hum and heat of his breath and he knows this is what he thought about losing as the car hit the guard rail.

“Just remember, you’re not allowed to die without my permission.” It’s not a joke or a threat. It’s just a statement and Seunghyun kisses him and makes him believe it.

The nurse sighs and Daesung hears it but if Seunghyun’s going to play deaf then so is he.

“Five more minutes, that’s it.” And she closes the door behind her.

 

 **4.** [_Why do I have to go out with you?_](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MT_O8lwixOE)

“So, how about today?” His question is always the same and just like every yesterday and every tomorrow she rolls her eyes at his perpetually, inconceivably cheerful face.

“No, Daesung, not today either.” She helps herself to a large serving of the company cafeteria duck.

“Why not?” He’s undeterred because rejection is just the beginning of the dance.

“Many reasons.” She doesn’t even look at him anymore and focuses on the kimchi selection instead because it will be the same questions and the same answers and she could do this routine with her eyes shut. “For one, you don’t even know my name.”

“Untrue.” She settles on the radish and water kimchis and passes the tongs to him. “Your name’s Choi Hyun.”

She shakes her head that no it’s not even as another co-worker greets her as such. “Hyun!” she shrieks. “I love that skirt! How did you find it in your size?”

She answers over the clatter of silverware. “Online shopping.” The co-worker smiles and it’s pitying and she walks away. Daesung glares after the other woman and then shoots a look that’s not pitying and she thinks that’s why she lets him talk to her everyday even if it’s always the same conversation that they have.

“My real name.”

He pauses thoughtfully at the water dispenser and she hands him a cup. “So you’re saying that if I knew your real name you would agree to go on a date with me?”

She can’t see the harm in giving him a little—a miniscule—bit of hope. “Sure, yes. I’d go on a date with you if you knew my real name.” They don’t talk until they get to their little table in the corner; no need to invite anymore rumors than a single man and a single woman who work in different departments but eat lunch together everyday already does.

She’s not even settled in her chair before he starts again but this time it’s not the same as yesterday or yesterday’s yesterday. “Well then pick a day Miss Choi Seunghyun, because we’re going out.” The kimchi stops just short of her mouth.

“Excuse me?” She starts to chew but it’s hard to swallow.

“Your rules. I know your real name, we go on a date.” He shovels duck into his mouth in triumph.

“But how…how did you find out?” Seunghyun raises her eyebrows indignantly. “Have you been _stalking_ me?”

“I suppose that depends on your definition of stalking.” He’s moved over to the rice and kimchi. “I _am_ an IT specialist and your personal information is stored in the company database.”

“So you hacked my files?” The news is so alarming that she loses her appetite.

“First day I saw you.” He grins. “Seunghyun-noona.”

She jabs a metal chopstick threateningly at him. “Don’t you dare.” He laughs and waves it away but knows not to push his luck. They eat in silence while things sinks in but he never could help himself and Seunghyun knows what he’s been wondering anyway.

“Why do you lie about your name? I know it’s not a conventional name…”

“I like avoiding these exact questions.” She snaps then shrugs. “My parents wanted a son.”

“Yeah, well mine wanted Confucius.” Seunghyun laughs in spite of herself and she suddenly realizes that he’s already won.

“So what do you say, Miss Choi? Saturday night around seven? I’ll make you laugh all night.” He grins and it’s not so innocent anymore and she’s glad she’s wearing a high-neck sweater because her chest is burning.

She answers in exasperation. “Fine.”

“Good. Wear something sexy, noona.” He winks and chuckles and she rolls her eyes but as soon as he looks down to finish his soup her cheeks go red.

 

 **5.** [_I hope that you can at least understand me._](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5YuAvTtvnoI)

“Checkmate.” Daesung leans back and surveys his strategy with pride.

“I don’t even know why we’re playing this.” Seunghyun glares darkly at the uncooperative game pieces. “And you’re supposed to let your elders win. You’re a bad dongsaeng.”

Daesung pets his hand affectionately and even though it’s resting on the table it still shakes a bit. “Someone is grumpy today, hyung.”

“And who said you could be so familiar with me? I don’t even know you.” Seunghyun purposely folds his hands in his lap.

“Sure you do, grandpa.” Daesung’s only a few years younger than Seunghyun but he uses the nickname without irony. “We play chess everyday.”

“You’re a liar.” Seunghyun scrapes his chair across the grainy tile floor and crosses his arms in a huff and Daesung knows it’s as much defiance as he can muster with his strength so he throws his hands up in gracious defeat.

“You’re right, hyung. We met for the first time today. We’ve both been coming to this recreation room every afternoon from three to four-thirty for eight months and even though I’ve seen you everyday today was the very first day I came over and asked if you wanted to play together.” Seunghyun juts his chin out in an old man pout and Daesung knows he thinks he’s making fun of him. He takes out a hard candy wrapped in bright colors and plum flavored and slides it across the table as a peace offering. Seunghyun examines it suspiciously.

“Plum. Your favorite.” Seunghyun narrows his eyes. “I guessed.”

An orderly is making his rounds with the medication and Seunghyun mutters an obscenity under his breath before stuffing the candy in his mouth and jamming the wrapper into his robe pocket. The orderly gets to their table and looks at Seunghyun with a mix of pity and irritation. Seunghyun’s eyes glance shiftily around the chess board.

“Sneaking sweets again, are we Mr. Choi?” The orderly’s hand is on his hip like this job has turned him from a young man into a middle-aged woman.

Seunghyun swallows rebelliously. “What if I am? I won’t have some elementary student telling me what to do.” The orderly rolls his eyes and Daesung tries to offer him a reassuring smile.

“Fine, do what you want. But don’t come crying to me when the doctors give you hell about your glucose levels. And take your medicine today. None of this dropping them in the potted plants again.” He sets down a plastic cup full of a dozen rainbow pills and Seunghyun grunts noncommittally.

“How about you, Mr. Kang?” The orderly turns to Daesung with relief. “How’re your joints feeling today?”

“Can’t complain.” Daesung cheerfully accepts his four pill cup. “The new dehumidifier is doing wonders.”

“Glad to hear it.” Daesung has to admit the kid is sweet and cute too once he stops acting like a harassed aunt which Daesung guesses he kind of is for most residents here. “By the way, your niece called but you were at lunch. I told her to try again tonight.”

Daesung smiles but not too wide because Seunghyun’s lonely, hungry eyes are watching. “Thanks.”

The orderly nods at his own efficiency and moves onto the next table. Daesung goes to get them two cups of water and comes back just in time to catch Seunghyun preparing to toss his pills out the window.

“I don’t think so.” Seunghyun crosses his arms again and Daesung really does feel like the mother of a petulant child. “You’ll have to be faster next time.” He sits down and swallows the four in one go but Seunghyun still eyes his colors like they’re cyanide capsules.

“Look,” Daesung empties them out onto the table and lines them up biggest to smallest. “We’re not leaving until you take all your medicine. So you can glower and huff all you want but you’re still going to take them.” He adds cheekily, “I’ll stay with you all night if I have to.”

Seunghyun looks up and there is a glint in his eye like he’s spotted a loophole. “You’ll miss your niece’s call.”

Daesung shrugs and Seunghyun’s glint flickers. “She’ll call again.”

Seunghyun watches the pills for a very long time and after a while Daesung wonders if he’s fallen asleep in his chair but then he scoops them up in one dramatic gesture and pours the glass of water down his throat. Daesung grabs his arm with genuine concern. “Easy, grandpa.”

Seunghyun’s cheeks are flushed when he finally swallows and Daesung’s hand lingers.

“Good.” He murmurs reassuringly and Seunghyun looks embarrassed but he doesn’t brush him away. When he speaks it’s too quiet for Daesung to hear the first time.

“Hm?”

“I don’t know your name.” Seunghyun’s face reads like a miserable student who knows they failed a test but Daesung just laughs and rubs his fingers soothingly.

 _Yes you do._ “It’s Daesung. Kang Daesung.”

“Daesung.” Seunghyun says it slow like he’s testing out its rhythm and beat.

“Yeah.” Daesung squeezes his trembling hand. “You’d better remember it tomorrow.”


End file.
